With Us

Each winter, I attend a widows' retreat where I relish connecting with other widows. Some have been widows for many years; others are beginning the journey. Some are grandmothers and empty nesters; others have babies and preschoolers. Some lost their husband after a long illness; others faced the trauma of sudden death. But regardless of the specific details, we bond on the common loss of our husbands.

I have many many caring friends and family. I am surrounded by people who I can connect with in many ways. But I'm always surprised how I feel understood when I gather with this group of widows. These ladies never met Ed, and they don't know my children. They've never been in my house and don't know my church family or my siblings. But they understand me in ways that surprise me, because they are walking the same road. 

This winter I worked through a study of the book of Matthew using God With Us, a Bible Study published by Daughters of Promise. It was fascinating to delve into what it means that Jesus is called "Emmanuel, God with Us" and the wonder of His birth, life, death, and resurrection as God in human form. 

God created the human race, but He didn't walk away from His creation, even when they broke his commands. He continually reached out to humans. He walked with Enoch, rescued Noah, talked with Abraham, called to Moses in a burning bush, and led the Israelites with a cloud. Again and again, God met His people - in dreams, by angels, on mountains, in a quiet voice, in thunder, by priests, by judges, and by prophets. 

Then came years of silence, barren times, with no recorded messages from God. But the silence is broken with a startling proclamation from an angel. 

You shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins...they shall call His name Immanuel,” which is translated, “God with us.” Matthew 1:21,23

God, the Son, on earth. With us. Startling. Unbelievable. 

In a human body, Jesus battled temptation, suffered hunger, faced rejection, and became tired – like us. But unlike us, He never sinned, he never complained, he never gave in to self-pity, fear, worry, envy, or hate. He was holy, perfect.

But in His perfection, He didn’t stand aloof from the problems and pain of this world. He walked beside hurting, limping, broken people.

Reading through Matthew, I was struck with how often it specifically mentions that Jesus touched broken people - lepers, blind, paralyzed, even the dead. These were people who were shamed, shattered, outcasts, marginalized, and considered hopeless. Each were separated from others because of their needs - a disease, handicap, or failure. But Jesus reached out and touched their broken bodies to prove that He could heal the ugliness of sin inside each of us.

At the widows' retreat, I feel understood and loved because others are walking the same road I am. They gave me a tiny glimpse of what it meant for God to come to earth and walk this earth with humans. God with us, God who walked with us, ate with us, died as a human, and rose again - this is a God who can transform our brokenness today. 

Jesus didn't leave us alone when He returned to heaven. He sent His Spirit to continue to walk with us. And it is His Spirit at work in us that allows us to reach out to others today.

The book of Matthew began with a proclaimation of Christ's birth - God with us. Matthew ends with another proclaimation from Jesus.

Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen. Matthew 28:20

Life can feel heavy. This past week I've watched a number of people that I love face hard things. I need reminded of the living power of God who is working in and through the lives of His people. I need to reread the Gospels and rejoice in the revelation of God shown in its pages. I need to spend time with God's people and hear how God has walked with them. I need to allow God to use me to touch the brokenness around me.

Emmanuel, God with us. Today and always. Until the end of the world. All praise to Him.

The photos on this post are from the Inn at Sabbath Rest in Altoona, Pennsylvania where we held our widows' retreat. If you are looking for a lovely old home for a gathering, I highly recommend this Airbnb. The setting was perfect for a time of reflection and sharing.

Sisters' Bookshelf - Poetry

Two years ago, I wrote about my goal to read slower and my struggle with reading poetry. Poetry had always been something that I wanted to enjoy, but didn't. But I realized that I needed to read poetry slowly, savouring the words instead of inhaling them, in order to enjoy them. 

Last year, a friend challenged me to read a poem every day. I haven't quite accomplished that habit yet, but I have been more deliberate about keeping a poetry book nearby and dipping into it occasionally. I keep reminding myself that poetry isn't like prose, and one page is adequate, probably even preferred. 

I've also decided that I enjoy modern poetry more than classic poetry. This sorta surprises me since in general I enjoy old classic books. I do enjoy some poets such as Christinia Rosetti, but I struggle to appreciate great poets such as Tennyson, Wordsworth, Poe, Yeats, and Coleridge. And I decided to be okay with that. I occasionally push myself to read out of my comfort zone, (such as my attempt at Paradise Lost by Milton last year), but I don't apologize for enjoying some modern poets. (And there is LOTS of modern poetry that I don't enjoy!)

I also found that I most enjoy poets who write on nature and Biblical themes. Maybe this is because these are two categories that I know something about so don't feel as lost. I enjoy how these poems can help me look at Biblical accounts and the natural world with fresh eyes. 

I know opinions on poetry vary widely, but if you have simular poetry preferences, maybe you'll enjoy some of the books Charity and I have enjoyed.

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Charity- 

Water at the Roots by Philip Britts

I am a new explorer into the world of poetry. So often I find poems overwhelming and over my head. This book ( a recommendation from my brother) is perfect for anyone who feels intimidated by poetry. Philip Britts joined the Burderhoff community in Costwald, England during World War 2. Eventually he immigrated with the colony to Paraguay. His life story is narrated between his poems, with journal entries and other writings. Not only is Britts an inspiring man, the poetry is beautiful. I devoured this book and definitely will be coming back to it in the future.

Habitation of Wonder by Abigail Carroll

Do you notice a theme? My favorite poetry is about nature. These poems range from an Ode to Onions to How to Prepare for the Second Coming. As I flip through the book the phrase that comes to mind is "a celebration of words.” I find myself filled with wonder as I read these poems and long to get out and enjoy this beautiful world. If you love words and nature and God, you will love Carroll’s poetry. 

Gina - 

Calling Your Name by Janice Etter

Janice is a German Baptist  mother and grandmother from Indiana. Her poetry is relateable as she examines life, nature, and faith through the power of written words. I like poetry that is approachable without being trite, and this book fits this goal perfectly.

Accompanied by Angels: Poems of the Incarnation by Luci Shaw

Last year I was on a huge Shaw kick, reading several of her prose books as well as several poetry collections. This collection, which follows the life of Christ from the Annuciation to the Resurrection, is my favorite so far. These are poems that prompt worship. Shaw is now in her mid-nineties and still writing poetry with a new book coming out this spring, so she has decades of poetry for us to enjoy.

If you want to add a bit of poetry to your day and don't know where to begin, grab a hymnbook. Hymn lyrics are poems and many of them are beautiful. This is an easy way to add the beauty of words and spiritual refreshment to you day.

April is Poetry Month. Even if it is out of your comfort zone, try reading at least one poem this week! 

Do you have favorite poets or poetry collections? 

Sisters' Favorite Bright Winter Books

In January and February, Charity and I took part in the Brighter Winter Reading Program. We've done this every year since it began, and it is one of the highlights of our winter. Not only do we get stretched a bit out of our comfort zone, we also love connecting with other readers over books and discovering new-to-us books.

We are each sharing three of the favorite books that we read for Brighter Winter this year. 

This post contains affiliate links.

Charity-

1. Murder Must Advertise by Dorothy L. Sayers 

(Classic by a female author, book from my unread shelf)

A masterpiece of Golden Age detective fiction, this mystery was everything I love about Sayers. She didn't just write a murder mystery but included the humor and depth of human character that all her books contain. Sayers worked in the advertising world in the early 1900s, which makes the setting of an ad agency all the more realistic. This is one of my favorites so far in the Lord Peter Wimsey series.

2. The Dressmaker of Khair Khana by Gayle Tezmach Lemmon 

(Book set in Asia, book that features clothing or sewing)

The Taliban has gained control of Kabul and all women are suddenly thrust into a new way of life. The city is ruled by fear--don’t say the wrong things, talk to the wrong person, and, if you’re a women, become invisible. Suddenly countless Muslim women working to support their families find that those jobs are almost all illegal for women to hold. This is the story of Kamila, a young women who becomes a successful business owner, risking much to support her family and provide jobs for other women. This true story had me marveling at how God made humans to be incredibly resourceful and creative even in the most oppressed situations. 

3. Miriam’s Kitchen by Elizabeth Ehrlich (book by an author of Jewish heritage)

This memoir combines Elrich’s family story and her mother-in-law's memories of the Holocaust, intertwined with Jewish food. The author explores her Jewish heritage and her journey back to the kosher lifestyle of her grandmothers and mother-in-law.  It is a book I won’t soon forget, and it may be a favorite of 2025!

Gina -  

1. Under a Silent Sky by Claudia Lehman 

(Two books by the same author, book from my unread shelf)

I've had this book on my shelf for years but somehow never read it. I find books about persecution hard to read, even though I know they can inspire deeper faith. Set in the 1200s in a Waldesian community, this historical fiction asks questions about following God even when He appears silent. Quote: "There's no truer worship than to honor Him for who He is when everything He's doing disappoints you."

2. Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman 

(Book mentioned in another book)

I love reading time management books, but this one is unlike most. Burkeman begins with the fact that our time on earth is fleeting (only four thousand week, give or take a few). He shows the futility of thinking that we can control time and the flawed goal of productivity. Though Burkeman doesn't approach life from a Biblical perspective, he had a valuable perspective that I needed.

3. By Searching by Isobel Kuhn 

(Book about someone converting to Christianity)

A teen enters college, where her parent's religion is scorned by her professor, so she rejects God and lives for the next party. When she finds that her fiance is cheating on her, she becomes so depressed she plans her suicide. This may sound like the story of a modern teen, but it happened over one hundred years ago, in the 1920s. In By Searching, Isobel tells of her spiritual journey and how God led her from a depressed college student to missionary to China. God's leading in her life is inspiring.

Sisters' Reading Plans in 2025 - 

For the last four years, Charity and I enjoyed sharing the Sisters' Reading Challenges. It has been fun to have some of you join us, and we enjoyed stretching ourselves to read different books. We always enjoyed discussing the books we read and laughing during a bookish photo shoot. You can find all the past reading challenges and books reviews on the Book Tab on the Home Joys blog. 

But since Charity is busy with two little ones, we do not plan to set any reading challenges for 2025.  But we know that we will still be reading, and we always love talking about books, so we plan to do a post once a month or so and chat about books we are reading and give book recommendations.

So here is a question for you...

What kinds of books would you like us to discuss? 

Are you looking for middle grade fiction, memoir, picture books, gardening books, or ??? Let us know and maybe we can put it on our list of topics. 

And as always, we'd love to hear what books you are enjoying. What was one of your favorite books that you read this winter?

Sisters' Fall Reading Challenge

 

A report on our reading this fall.

This post contains affiliate links.

1. Duet Challenge: Read a classic book and a biography of the author.

Charity- The Joy of the Snow and The Rosemary Tree by Elizabeth Goudge

Goudge is an author that always beckons me to linger and savor her books. I’ve always wanted to read her autobiography with the hope that I would understand why her novels have that certain flavor and feel. The Joy of the Snow does not tell about every part of her life, but Goudge shares about the people and places that most influenced her. Through her story I realized why houses often feel like characters in her novels since the homes she lived in were important to her. I relished her stories of her mother’s island home and what life was like in wartime Britain. I didn't agree with her theology and a few other ideas, so take that into consideration, but if you love Elizabeth Goudge’s novels I think you will enjoy this glimpse into the author. The Rosemary Tree is set in post World War 2 England. Once again Goudge creates a place you wish you could visit and fascinating characters with complicated past. It left me longing to grow an English-style garden and to treasure my home and beauty even more. 

Gina - The Man Who Invented Christmas by Les Standiford, Christmas Stories by Charles Dickens

For years, I read Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol each December, but I didn't know much about his life. Standiford's short biography gives an overview of his life, but focuses on the time around when Dickens wrote his most famous Christmas story and the affect that had on his life and on English society. It is hard to imagine just how popular and influential Dickens was in his time. I was surprised to find that after the success of A Christmas Carol, Dickens wrote a novella every Christmas for four more years, probably hoping to capitlize on the initial success. I decided to read them all. Maybe I wasn't in the mood, but I found the Victorian tales to be rather sentimental and struggled to engage with the stories. Surprisingly, I enjoyed the last one The Haunted Man, the most. In that story, Redlaw is promised by a spirit that he will forget his sorrowful memories of the past and have the gift of allowing others to also forget the past. The result of this "gift" brings all sorts of misery to those around Redlaw and eventually it becomes obvious that forgetting the past, even the hard things, doesn't bring joy. 

2. Read a conversion story.

Charity - Surprised by Joy by C.S. Lewis

I have mostly read Lewis’ fiction and found his story of childhood until conversion fascinating. All of our life is woven together and influences what we believe. Lewis shows that as he tells of his loss of faith and his eventual return to Christ. I was touched by the influence friends had on his life for good and for bad often in ways they may have never known. 

Gina - Surprised by Oxford by Carolyn Weber

Weber was given the opportunity of a lifetime - to study at Oxford. There she met Christians who talked about God and the Bible in ways she had never heard before. Steeped in literature and in the setting of the ancient Oxford buildings, Weber confronts the truth of Christ that will change her life. This book is just delightful for those who love literature and listening into conversations about faith questions.

3. Finish a book you started, but never finished. 

Charity-  The Yearling by Marjorie Kinnan Rawling

It is Florida in the 1930’s, a time and place I know little about. Jody Baxter is the only living child of his parents and often lonely. This is a story of growing up, a father’s love and wisdom, and a beautiful fawn that stands in the way of survival. The story is both beautiful and heartbreaking. 

Gina - Watership Down by Richard Adams

I had trouble getting into Watership Down and had abadoned it and wondered why it was a favorite of so many people. But I picked it up again, and eventually I hit the point where I was staying up far too late, reading about the escapades of a group of rabbits in England. A classic tale of journey, danger, and search for belonging that somehow allows these rabbit characters to burrow into the heart.. 

4. Read a book together with a friend. 

Charity - Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry

Such a small book but packed so full of life. Seventy-year-old Hannah tells of her life in the small farming community of Port William, that Berry has skillfully created many stories about. The time period is not long ago, and I find it intriguing to be given a glimpse of a life that my grandparents would have been familiar with. Her story reminds us of the importance of community and how it often holds us together in ways we never realize. But I can’t help but feel a sense of sadness, because Jesus is sadly absent in the story and so hope is also absent. (I couldn’t resist reading Nathan Coulter right after this book, and they deserve to be read close together!)

Gina - Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry

I was delighted to find two used copies of Hannah Coulter which made a perfect book for Charity and I to read together. I had already met Hannah in some of Berry's other books, but in this one, Hannah gets center stage as she shares the story of her life as a twice widowed matriarch in the Port William community. Her journey is echoed by many women in rural American who watched a community disapear with changing times. Even though this book is fiction, it shows the long-term impact that our choices. And Berry's beautiful writing makes me want to linger over the pages.

5. Memorize a chapter of the Bible.

Charity- Ephesians 1

Why is it so hard to decide what to memorize? Or am I just revealing some procrastination? Most likely that is the answer. Needless to say I am barley half way through the chapter. But I am so glad to be memorizing again and I won’t be stopping just because the end of fall has arrived! 

Gina - Ephesians 1

Charity and I had not talked about which chapter we were memorizing and were surprised to find that we chose the same one. I too had procrastinated and lacked discipline to work faithfully on this chapter so didn't complete it. I would like to get in a better habit of memorizing because I know that time spent thinking deeply on the Scripture is time well spent.

Did you read anything memorable this fall?

Sisters' Cozy December Reading

Yesterday, I turned the calendar page and pulled out a stack of books to enjoy for the new month. If there is anything as much fun as reading, it is planning what to read.  

Charity and I decided not to set a reading challenge this month. Charity is busy preparing for the arrival her baby in the new year, and we don't want any extra stress. But, of course, we will both still be reading. We are selecting some favorite cozy reads to finish out our reading year. There is something delightful in opening the book of a favorite author such as Dickens or Elliot and finding a friend.

Here are a few recommendations if you want too enjoy cozy December reading. 

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Children's story books

Charity - My little boy is only eighteen months old so most of my Christmas/winter book collection is too advanced for him, but we've already starting reading these.

The Hat by Jan Brett

Katy and the Big Snow by Virginia Lee Burton

The Mousery by Charlotte Pomerants

Cozy Reads

Charity: I love a good reread during December. Something makes me want to sip tea and curl up under a blanket. Here are a few I'm considering dipping back into this December.

At Home in Mitford and Shepherd's Abiding by Jan Karon

Pilgrim's Inn by Elizabeth Goudge

Bleak House by Charles Dickens

Gina: A few of my favorites that I'd love to reread this winter.

Suncatchers by Jamie Langsdon Turner (Every since reading Turner's newest book, I've wanted to reread Suncatchers and be reaquainted with Eldeen.)

Emma by Jane Austin

Virgil Wander by Leif Enger

Poetry

Gina: Winter gives me a longing to linger over beautiful words. I actually have four poetry books by my bed that I'm dabbling in and thoroughly enjoying. 

Waiting on the Word by Malcolm Guite (An advent book with a poem and short explanation for every day in December.) 

Every Moment Holy: Volume 3, The Work of the People (Prayers for all sorts of times and places.

Accompanied by Angels: Poems of the Incarnation by Luci Shaw (Poems on the life of Christ)

Hope in the Dark by Geneva Eby (Advent poems and thoughts on the Biblical characters who awaited Christ's coming.)

Planning for Next Year

Charity: I love to dream about flower gardening and these two books are perfect choices for some cozy dreaming. Even if the garden never gets planted in the spring!

The Garden Maker by Christie Purifoy

A Home in Bloom by Christie Purifoy

What are you reading?

Half of One

 Thoughts After Attending a Wedding

Image by prostooleh on Freepix: Image by p

In my five years as a widow

I’ve attended many weddings—

siblings, nephews, nieces, friends.

I’m grateful to be included,

invited to celebrate,

part of a community that values marriage,

honors commitment,

assumes permanence—

“until death do us part.”

But weddings are hard.

My presence feels like a pallor,

rain on a picnic,

a reminder that marriage isn’t forever.

It only lasts until death,

and death comes for all.

(Sometimes to the young.)

I wish death would take us together,

but usually one is left to walk alone.

The wedding service comes to the holy moment.

Hands clasp, vows spoken, promises made—

a mystery.

Two people, two individuals, two humans—

now one flesh

for life.

I said “I do.”

I’m still living,

but Ed is not.

I was one flesh, but now...

What is half of “one flesh”?

No wonder it hurts.

Should there be a ceremony

to signify the end of a marriage?

Something more than a funeral—

all dead have funerals.

Something more than a trip to the bank

to remove his name from our checking account.

Something…

but what?

I watch this love-struck, starry-eyed couple

say their vows.

They won’t feel any different

the moment they become one.

What happens in an instant,

takes years

to grow into oneness.

My marriage was rent

the moment that Ed breathed his last,

but maybe it takes years

to grow into a single person again.be I’ll limp for the rest of my life.tooleh on Freepik

: Image by prostooleh on Freepik

: Image by prostooleh on Freepi

: Image by prostooleh on Freepik

More in Number Than the Sand

I remember the day I realized that the world didn't revolve around me. 

Of course I knew in my head that I wasn't the center of the universe. I knew that only a tiny number of people on earth even knew of my existence. But somehow I viewed my life on center stage, with the spotlight on me, with my dreams, my griefs, my plans in the forefront and everyone else circling around me.

On that day, I was shopping and looked at the many people, and realized that, just like me, their lives were consumed by their dreams, their griefs, their plans. I wondered if others also had a ridulous sense of self-importance. Maybe each person I saw, and all the billions of other people in the world, also viewed their life as in the spotlight on center stage, with all other people as the extras of the set. Maybe we are all self-centered and wake each morning with our dreams, griefs, and plans as the most important thing in the universe. 

I am responsible for my thoughts, motives, words, and actions, so these things are necessarily important to me. But ever since that day, I've often looked at those I pass on the street, the driver of the car beside me, the strangers I elbow in a crowd and feel small. My dreams and plans, which feel so big to me, are unknown and unimportant to them. As one of the billions, my life is tiny.

Earlier this month we spent a week at the Outer Banks, North Carolina. Each morning I woke at my normal hour, peeked at the alarm clock, and considered my options. I was on vacation and could roll over and sleep a few more hours. But how can a person lay asleep at sunrise on the beach? 

I scrambled into clothes, grabbed my Bible, and headed to the top deck of our rental house, where the ocean was just barely visible. But the pounding of the waves continued to pull me. I popped in my earbuds, turned on my audio Bible, slipped on my sandals, and spent the next hour walking along the surf as the sky was painted pink and orange by the rising sun. 

I'm in awe of the power of the rhythmic waves. They are consistent, persistent, unrelenting. It didn't matter if I was watching or lying in bed. All over the world, day and night, year after year, the waves crash on the shore, moving methodically up and down with tide schedules so dependable they can be made years in advance. 

Sandpipers on twig-like legs, dance along the shore, always staying one step ahead of the wave, poking their beaks into the sand for some morsel. Three large birds (pelicans?) skim in silent procession just above the crest of the wave, disapearing in a silent dive then suddenly reappearing to skim the waves again. Crabs watch me warily, then scuttle into their holes. Each creature is consumed with its life, its survival. In each tiny brain, the spotlight is turned on it. Its life the most important existence in its universe. 

All over the world these motions are echoed - waves, birds, crabs - with a stunning sunrise as the backdrop. Usually no one watches; no one applauds. The astonishing colors exist without help from humans. The creatures follow their created instict with no orders, no recognition.

In the extravagance of the sunrise and the power of the waves, I feel tiny, miniscule, inconsequential. Just as when I was shopping and suddenly knew that each of the billions of people on earth had dreams, griefs, and plans just like me, I feel insignificant.

I believe God created this splendour, the amazing world of sunrises and sandpipers, pelicans and crabs. I believe He created the billions of people who walk this planet. The vastness of the universe and God's power overwhelms me. 

But I'm even more astounded when I read that God knows each sparrow and numbers my hair. (Matthew 10:29-31) He knew me before I was born and His thoughts of me are more than the number of the sand. (Psalm 139:14-18)  I'm only one of the billions, but I'm known.

I walk the shore, gazing at the glory of His creation, and want to weep at the glory of being a daughter of this God. 

***

Here are links to two old posts, both shared when I felt overwhelmed by current events in my own life and in the world. It is a little startling to see how much my children have grown in just a few years. It is also comforting to remember that God is still on His throne. In each post I shared a meaningful hymn.

November 2020 - Dear Lord and Father of Mankind

March 2022 - O Who Is Like Jehovah God